STOIC THOUGHTS ON THE EVE OF A
LATE-LIFE BIRTHDAY
by Gil Marvel Tabucanon
Given a short lifespan, how much choice do we really have to lead a life of meaning? How much or how little lie “within our power” given that our time on earth “only lasts an hour” in the curt lines of Emily Dickinson?
When we opened our eyes the first time, things were there for us! We have our families, our distinct looks, gender, religion, personality, capacity and predispositions. The whole “birth” package came to us for free and without our choosing.
But, there are also aspects left free for us to pick: we can choose how we spend our time, where to live, what to believe in, who to love and which friend to explore the world with! Whether trekking to mountains or exploring philosophical ideas together, friends make our choices easier and our steps lighter.
Yet, Seneca in “On the Shortness of Life” notes how we waste a lot of our time in idle thinking and meaningless pursuits. We easily forget time is that precious commodity given to us on loan. He reminds us our life’s most important resource – our time – is non-renewable, hence the need to use it wisely and meaningfully.
Beyond the repetitive grind of work, business or occupation, and the fun times spent on our days off, what else do we do to give our days meaning?
What pursuits warm us, what thoughts lead us to burn our midnight candles doing the work we truly love. If we have our druthers, what will we do that's not motivated by money, power or success?
An improper use of time, for Seneca, is one devoted to proving or showing off how successful or privileged one’s social standing is, calling those with such lifestyles “idly preoccupied” in engaging wasteful pursuits. If anything, such pursuits are aimed not so much in doing our life’s vocation, but done rather to cater to that childish need to make others admire us – but, if I may add, to what purpose or end?
Stoic philosopher Epictetus says “never depend on the admiration of others – there is no strength to it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source”. By extension, personal merit cannot also be received through our association with famous or talented people, for, says Epictetus, “you have been given your own work to do – [thus] get to it right now. Do your best at it and don’t be concerned with who is watching you.”
There is also a life lived in social distraction and entertainments. Seneca recognizes the need for leisure and socialization. Nonetheless, a life devoted almost exclusively towards pleasure is meaningless. He says “when life is squandered through soft and careless living, and when it's spent on no worthwhile pursuit, death finally presses and we realize that the life which we didn't notice passing has passed away”.
The reason why we squander much of our time according to Seneca is we forget how limited our loaned time it, and that soon we are going to die:
“You live as it you were destined to live forever. No thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last.”
Seneca thus counsels us to be wary of any activity which will take much of our time away from our life’s true goals and pursuits. For instance, why are we here, what is the purpose of our being here, and how will we find out what we were really intended to do. My answer to this is at the end of each day, when all is said and done, we will know. There is that little voice from within that urges, and prods us and won’t stop, until we listen to it. We do not know where that voice comes from – but it is there. It is our guide and it is real.
Epictetus, echoing Seneca, agrees that while we do get distracted at times and often engage in various amusements, these should not dominate our lives thereby making us forget our true purpose. To help us recognize our life’s true goals Epictetus gives us the analogy of life on a voyage towards our life’s true aims:
“If you were on a voyage and the ship is anchored in a harbor, you might go ashore for water and happen to pick up a shellfish or a plant. But be careful; listen for the call of the captain. Keep your attention directed at the ship. Getting distracted by trifles is the easiest thing in the world. Should the captain call, you must be ready to leave those distractions and come running, without even looking back. If you are old, do not go far from the ship, or you might fail to appear when you are called for.”
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Lifted from JV DANCEL OCCEÑA
JULY 25, 2024
Credits: Felipe Ascencio 📸 Illustrativa
10 August 2023
Lifted from Rado Gatchalian
TEN BASIC RULES FOR A BETTER LIVING
By Manly P. Hall
1- STOP WORRYING
It was long recognized by the ancient Egyptians, that worrying is among the cardinal sins, and it never solved any problems. Instead of worrying, plan a resolute action and carry it out.
2- STOP TRYING TO DOMINATE AND POSSESS YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES
Sometimes we do that out of love, thinking that we know what is best for others. If we are in a position to control others then we must be responsible. Everyone has the right to experience freedom in life.
What is more hurtful than giving an advice to those who do not want it or who cannot understand it?
3- MODERATE AMBITION
It is good to have ambitions, but be moderate. Do not overwork yourself lest you suffer from excessive stress. It is not necessary to be very rich to be happy; nor very famous.
4- DO NOT ACCUMULATE MORE THAN YOU NEED
People long ago stopped believing that one can take his/her worldly possessions with him/her to the grave. Be careful about not taking more than you need lest you take from those who really need it.
At the end, ask yourself: ‘How much are we worth if we lose everything we have?‘
5- LEARN TO RELAX
Great tension is an abomination. We may not see the stress in our lives, but it does not mean we don’t have it.
In this modern day and age, we tend to think that relaxing or taking some time off is a waste of time.
The mind needs to rest so that it heals itself from the stresses and pressures of life. Do not exhaust yourself.
6- CULTIVATE A SENSE OF HUMOUR
Humour is good medicine. If you must laugh at someone, let it be at ourselves. A happy and sincere laughter is contagious and pleasant for the soul and those around you.
7- FIND A REASON FOR YOUR OWN EXISTENCE
Do not waste time doing things without purpose. That will be a good waste of time and your purpose.
Find a reason to live that is more than just the reason to make a fortune and accumulate wealth.
Broaden your horizons and develop various skills in life; great internal good comes from the love for music, art, great literature, broad philosophy and simple faith.
8- NEVER INTENTIONALLY HARM ANY OTHER PERSON
Never by word or evil deed, for evil is evil no matter how you express it.
Turn the other cheek, learn not to hold grudges, forgive, learn from mistakes and most of all – never make a decision (to retaliate for instance) when you are angry.
9- BEWARE OF ANGER
Anger is a big handicap. If it comes due to an old ingrained habit, then slowly learn to rid yourself of that habit.
The antidote to angriness is patience, a very good virtue.
10- NEVER BLAME OTHERS FOR OUR OWN MISTAKES
It goes without saying that we should own our mistakes, learn from them and try not to repeat them.
Like worrying, blaming others for our mistakes does not really solve the problem in the long term.
January 6, 2023
Lifted from Ron Hastings
It appears some days we just feel defeated, you know that beat feeling when we don’t think there’s any fight left, or we've forgotten what we’re fighting for.. and what we think was upsetting us we realise is just a casualty of the crossfire in a bigger picture, and if this doesn't make sense, I'm not sure that it’s meant to.
Some days we’re just tired, and nothing really makes sense, and our hearts just ache, but they don’t break because they were broken before, many times but the pieces that are left over feel battered and bruised, like they've been trampled upon, and we’re upset with ourselves all over again, but none of it makes any difference. It never does.
Some days we wonder why we’re struggling with the same old stuff, over and over again; the lessons we are striving to learn, the difficult paths we persist in taking, the mistakes we keep repeating, and the unending search for our raison d’ etre amidst the debris of the blunders we have made before.
Some days we think it’s all just ridiculous, that life is surely meant to be simpler than this, and that maybe running away with the circus wasn't such a bad idea, if only we were that young again and had it all ahead of us; wouldn't that be fun? Daring trapeze acts, funny sad clowns, dancing elephants, and loveable lions.
BORROWED .. Some days we just have to take a deep breathe. know that it’s a moment in time, search deep within for that spark that still endures in the dark, that part of our soul that won’t let go of the possibility. And we have to make sure that we know where we are, and what we hope for, because that is just part of who we are.
Some days when we’re least expecting it, in the middle of an ordinary life, at some perfectly random time, when we’re busy just getting on with getting through it; something so small it’s almost imperceptible, just a hint of a glance of an almost nothing, gives us something to smile about, and it’s a wonderful world all over again.
Source: FB
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
September 4, 2022
The father of my children is quite the opposite, but never I influenced them of anything negative about the man whose sperms made them human beings. Through the years they never experienced love coming from him. Now, they are adults, they finally met on the road. Until today, I don't know what opinion they hold of him, but I haven't heard his name mentioned by them. My children moved on, on their own terms.
♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️
A poem inspired from this Microprompt, the poet is challenged to come up with his own muse and dig his mind to write something about the picture before him. My friend Don M. Luman-ag with his brilliant mind get his pen going and scribbled:
A DIGNIFIED MAN
Do not step on me,
don't trample on my right
I don't care about your status,
I can give you a good fight
Although I choose my battles,
but when honor is at stake
I will not hesitate,
to make you taste defeat
I have my dignity,
I got my pride
I walk with head held high,
with my every stride
I have nothing to be ashamed of,
I have nothing to hide
What you see is what you get,
I am who I am inside
I'm not used to being a taker,
for I know how to give
I share what little I have,
with those who are in need
It is always better to give,
than to be on the receiving end
I'd rather be the giver,
than to be the recipient
I don't live for validation,
I'm confident in my own skin
I do things that make me happy,
I choose to live life this way
I don't seek fame or recognition,
that is not my intention
Love is my real motivation,
my source of inspiration
© Don M. Luman-ag
30.09.2021
ILA Founder: Annette Nasser
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The Counterpoint:
"The art of being a good husband is not an easy one. This little guide was written for the middle classes of the 1930s who were reading one of the first modern self-help books. Illustrated with contemporary line-drawings, it contains advice by turns delightfully arcane and timelessly true, for example: Don't squeeze the tube of toothpaste from the top instead of from the bottom. This is one of the small things of life that always irritates a careful wife. Don't think that your wife has placed waste-paper baskets in the rooms as ornaments. Don't tell your wife terminological in exactitudes, which are, in plain English, lies. A woman has wonderful intuition for spotting even minor departures from the truth. Do cultivate the habit of coming down to breakfast with a smile. Remember that as the head of the house, it is your duty to see that everyone starts the day in an atmosphere of happiness. Don't criticise the food at your own table when you are entertaining and especially refrain from doing so before the servants." Life is what it is, we can't say hat we live any better now than we did 50, 60, 70, even 100 years ago. People knew what they knew & lived how the lived according to the times. And it will be the same thing for generations to come. This is a perpetual conversation that will never end, but will always be adapted to suit the times."
IVAN FERNANDEZ: A TRUE CHAMPION'S STORY
"My dream is that one day we can have some sort of community life where we push ourselves and also others to win."
"A Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was only a few meters from the finish line, but got confused with the signage and stopped, thinking he had completed the race.
A Spanish runner, Iván Fernández, was right behind him and, realizing what was happening, started shouting to the Kenyan to keep running. Mutai did not know Spanish and did not understand.
Realizing what was taking place, Fernandez pushed the Kenyan runner to victory.
A reporter asked Iván, "Why did you do that?"
Iván replied, "My dream is that someday we can have a community life where we push and help each other to win."
The reporter insisted "But why did you let the Kenyan win?"
Iván replied, "I didn't let him win, he was going to win. The race was his."
The reporter insisted and asked again, "But you could have won!"
Iván looked at him and replied:
"But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honor of that medal? What would my Mother think of it?"
Values are passed on from generation to generation. What values are we teaching our children? Let us not teach our kids the wrong ways and means to win. Instead, let us pass on the beauty and humanity of a helping hand.
Because honesty and ethics are WINNING!
Most of us take advantage of people's weaknesses instead of helping to strengthen them."
Source: YouTube/Life With Goals
June 2020
BIO
A brief sneak peek into the life of Iván Fernández according to Wikipedia:
Born on 10 June 1988, Iván Fernández is a Spanish athlete who competes for Spain internationally. He competes in long-distance running events, mostly cross country and marathon and has been coached by Martín Fiz, and Santi Pérez.
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Lifted from David Heiss:
Most of us are now in the last quarter of our life and should read this interesting piece of advice👍
This is one of the nicest and most gentle articles I’ve read in a while: no politics, no religion and no racial issues - just food for thought.
You know …… time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.
It seems just yesterday that I was young and embarking on my new life. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went.
I know that I lived them all.
I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.
However, here it is …… the last quarter of my life and it catches me by surprise.
How did I get here so fast?
Where did the years go and where did my youth go?
I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that I was only on the first quarter and that the fourth quarter was so far off that I could not visualise it or imagine fully what it would be like.
Yet, here it is …… my friends are retired and getting grey - they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me but I see the great change. They’re not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant …… but like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.
Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day and taking a nap is not a treat anymore. It's mandatory because if I don't of my own free will, I fall asleep where I sit.
And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did. But at least I know that, though I’m on the last quarter and I'm not sure how long it will last, that when it's over on this earth, it's over. A new adventure will begin!
Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done; things I should have done but truely there are many things I'm happy to have been done.
It's all in a lifetime.
So, if you're not on the last quarter yet, let me remind you that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life do it quickly.
Don't put things off too long. Life goes by so quickly.
So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you're on the last quarter or not.
You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of life. So, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember - and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the past years.
‘Life’ is a gift to you.
Be Happy!
Have a great day!
Remember, it is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.
You may think:
Going out is good - but coming home is better!
You forget names - but it's okay because some people forgot they even knew you!
You realize you're never going to be really good at anything like golf - but you like the outdoors!
The things you used to care to do, you aren't as interested in anymore - but you really don't care that you aren't as interested.
You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV on than in bed – you call it ‘pre-sleep’!
You miss the days when everything worked with just an ‘On’ and ‘Off’ switch!
You tend to use more 4 letter words – ‘what’ and ‘when’
You have lots of clothes in your wardrobe, more than half of which you will never wear – but just in case!
Old is good -
• Old is comfortable
• Old is safe
• Old songs
• Old movies
• …… and best of all,
• Friends of old!
So, stay well, ‘Old friend!’
Have a fantastic day!
Have an awesome quarter – whichever one you’re in!
It's not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
JUST FOR A LAUGH
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store.
Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local store manager:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
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"I asked an elderly man once what it was like to be old and to know the majority of his life was behind him. He told me that he has been the same age his entire life. He said the voice inside of his head had never aged. He has always just been the same boy. His mother's son. He had always wondered when he would grow up and be an old man. He said he watched his body age and his faculties dull but the person he is insideYoko never got tired. Never aged. Never changed.
Our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever. The next time you encounter an elderly person, look at them and know they are still a child, just as you are still a child and children will always need love, attention and purpose." ~ Author Unknown
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I've screwed up as a Man,
as a Father,
as a Husband,
as a Son,
as a Friend,
and a Brother,
simply because...
I don't always do or say the "right things".
I have a smart mouth, I am hardheaded, I have secrets, I have scars , I fight demons, because I have a history.
Some people love me,
some people like me,
some people might hate me.
I have done good in my life.
I have done bad in my life.
I may even be crazy, random and silly. I will not pretend to be someone I am not. I am who I am. You can love me or hate me.
But if I love you, I do it with my whole heart, and I will make no apologies for the way I am. If I do not like you, I promise that you will know that too.
I AM ME....And I will not change it for the world. However, I continue to become a better man!!!
Source: FB/Marc Cramer
August 1, 2021
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MIND
by Adam Smith
Scottish Economis
"The mind…is rarely so disturbed, but that the company of a friend will restore it to some degree of tranquility and sedateness.
It is all a question of weeding out what you yourself like best to do, so that you can live most agreeably in a world full of an increasing number of disagreeable surprises ..
A desire of knowledge is the natural feeling of mankind; and every human being, whose mind is not debauched, will be willing to give all that he has to get knowledge."
Source: FB/Ron Hastings
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Note from Blog Administrator:
This story is a real account of one of those people I came to know via Poetry. I am posting his story hoping we could learn something from it of what truly a FAMILY VALUE means. Especially in regard to tending our fragile member who is facing the Final Hour of their life towards reaching their Ultimate Destiny. As you read through this story we can then ponder What's really in a name?
THE BUTTERFLY HAS FLOWN
By Yesu Ben
Hey guys, me is back. FB's lifted my suspension. First of all let me thank the FPB family for being with me during these trying hours in my garden of Gethsemane.
I held his hand constantly assuring him of our love and thanking him for all the love that he's given us and telling him to walk on and to not look back and that i will take care of Nanay in his absence, 3 hours prior to passing and about 1 hour after. I saw him lose breath and watched as his BP failed and as his limbs grew increasingly cold then i also removed his oxygen after he used it up, to help him breathe better. Nanay and I kissed him dearly as he gave up his last. And one by one, the family came to him for their final goodbyes. It is believed that the dead can hear for 9 days (per Tibetan traditions) so it is always best to talk words of reassurance and love daily to help them as they adjust to new environments. I took care of him in my house as his dementia worsened over those 16 years. I miss him dearly. I feel joyful inside yet exhausted and physically depleted, emotionally drained and mentally spent on the outside. I know that he is too and that right now:
He walks now in fair flower fields
where breezes of sweet love and hope
leave disarranged his deep black hair
that he mayn't longer have to cope
against the grueling needs of Life
that shape us with God's divine knife.
We buried my Father, 93, in simple ceremonies attended only by close family and friends, online and off, yesterday. He was the main pillar of our clan. He worked his way up for love of family. He pushed a cariton of veggies in Baguio down the steep Magsaysay Avenue roadway with his barefeet as brakes. He shined shoes, sold newspapers, became a Jeepney Driver, sold Grolier's Encyclopedia, then on passing the board, became an Educator, Dean and VP of UC. In Government, he served for almost 30 years. He was in newspapers when he used a firetruck hose to spearhead the cleaning of the Public Market of Baguio while wearing a necktie. OH make no mistake about it, he was no politician. He represented Baguio in several Conferences abroad: UN in France, Japan, and China and was cited by WHO'S WHO IN THE WORLD in 1978 along with Ferdinand Marcos, Cardinal Sin, and a few others.
Salamat po sa pakikiramay.
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THE AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT enlightens that "A MAN MUST FIRST FIND HIMSELF, BEFORE HE FINDS HIS WOMAN, OTHERWISE HE WILL CONTINUOUSLY DAMAGE EVERY WOMAN HE COMES IN CONTACT WITH ALONG THE WAY."
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THINK: "A girl once told me TO BE CAREFUL when TRY-ing to FIX a BROKEN PERSON for you may CUT yourself on their SHATTERED PIECES." ~ Anon
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Blue Ridge Believers
September 24, 2018
I asked an elderly man once what it was like to be old and to know the majority of his life was behind him. He told me that he has been the same age his entire life. He said the voice inside of his head had never aged. He has always just been the same boy. His mother's son. He had always wondered when he would grow up and be an old man. He said he watched his body age and his faculties dull but the person he is inside never got tired. Never aged. Never changed.
Our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever.
The next time you encounter an elderly person, look at them and know they are still a child, just as you are still a child and children will always need love, attention and purpose.
Source: Dale Damron, Sr via 60+ Laughing FB Group
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A FATHER's LESSON TO HIS DAUGHTER
Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.
"A father said to his daughter: You graduated with honors, here is a car that I acquired many years ago ... it is several years old.
But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you.
The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, "They offered me $1,000 because it looks very worn out."
The father said, "Take him to the pawn shop." The daughter went to the pawn shop, returned to her father and said, "The pawn shop offered $100 because it was a very old car."
The father asked his daughter to go to a car club and show them the car. The daughter took the car to the club, returned and told her father, “Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it since it is a Nissan Skyline R34, an iconic car and sought after by many."
The father said to his daughter, "I wanted you to know that the right place values you the right way. If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value."
Source: FB/Walkabout Barber Enterprises
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SUNFLOWER
"Last night I bought a sunflower to put on the windshield of someone I'm smitten with. After some consideration I decided not to since we had only been on one date, the night previous. Don't want to come off too strong, right? Anyway, I grabbed the flower on my way out this morning with the intention to give it to someone on my way to work so it didn't die alone. What happened next has left me changed in ways I don't even have words for yet.
While I was sitting and drinking my morning joe at the coffee shop (which I typically take to go), I saw a woman reading something with tears quietly and quickly sliding down her pale face. It was like there was a magnet in the sunflower that was being drawn to her, because I knew in that moment she was who I was going to give the sunflower to; she was who I had to give it to.
When I got to her table I said, "hey, pardon me. I have this sunflower that I was hoping to give to someone special and that someone I had in mind didn't work out, but I can feel that you're special too, so I want you to have it."
Before I could even hand her the sunflower, this complete stranger flew into my arms with tears flowing, and gratitude spewing, as if I was someone she once loved, and lost. It's what she said next that I'm still trying to grip.
She was crying because her fiancé had died the week before, just months before they were going to get married. On their first date he brought her a sunflower and from then on, got her sunflowers, never roses, because she was the light of his life.
Today, through me, he was able to show her that she'll always be the light of his life and how we as humans have a message to carry that goes far beyond words.
I'm shaken, awaken and feeling raw. You never know how much a simple gesture of giving someone a $5 flower will change their life, as well as yours. Life is about giving and being of service to others. I challenge you all to find a way to make someone else's life just a little bit brighter today and be of service. You never know the impact you could have.
Please feel free to share this, and a little extra love.
I dare you do the same and give a sunflower to someone you don't know. Be a part of the good; be a part of the #sunflowerchallenge."
Source: FB/Via @Danny Wakefield
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LEARNING FROM THE VANTAGE POINT OF AN INVESTOR
Make every purchase reimburse you in the best possible way.
According to the Government's Money Smart Strategy, the Golden rules of investing are, and with another point of view:
Pay off your debts first — pay off any loans, like a credit card or personal loan, before you invest.
View - Well for some that's impossible.
Have emergency savings — aim to have enough set aside to cover three months' expenses, so you won't have to sell an investment if you need cash quickly.
View - Could also be another impossible commitment.
Develop an investing plan — define your financial goals, risk tolerance and investment time frame.
View - Possible
Research different asset classes — understand the risks and returns, and how they can help you reach your financial goals.:
Diversify your investments —
View Possible -
Spread your money across and within asset classes to lower your risk.-
View Possible
Keep track of your investments — review them regularly and make sure you're on track.
View - Possible
So how do we achieve a better outcome in view of the above. Pretty simple really. Make every purchase reimburse you in the best possible way ---
Source: FB/Ron Hastings
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There are still HUSBANDS in this modern times who consider, think and treat their WIVES in their rare chivalrous ways like …
Bob Marley once said:
"You may not be her first,
her last, or her only.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now,
what else matters?
She's not perfect—you aren't either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh,
cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you
every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her
that she knows you can break—her heart.
So don't hurt her,
don't change her,
don't analyze and
don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she's not there.
Love with your whole being
when you receive love.
Because there are no perfect girls,
but there will always be a girl
who is perfect for you.."
Lifted from a guy's post to help remind his fellow chaps to treat their wives just and fair. After all, in their marriage they became as ONE. So why treat her like a crap?
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"God give us men. The time demands
Strong minds, great hearts, true faith, and willing hands;
Men whom the lust of office does not kill;
Men whom the spoils of office cannot buy;
Men who possess opinions and a will;
Men who have honor; men who will not lie.
Men who can stand before a demagogue
And dam his treacherous flatteries without winking;
Tall men, sun-browned, who live above the fog
In public duty and in private thinking."
~J.G. Holland
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"Men say they know many things;
But lo! they have taken wings, -
The arts and sciences,
And a thousand appliances;
The wind that blows
Is all that any body knows."
~Henry David Thoreau
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Think: "A man should understand he doesn't protect his woman because she is weak. He protects her because she is important." ~Anon
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Quote To Ponder: "A man chooses a great woman as part of a Spiritual journey to bump up to a higher level. A great woman is the inspiration. If a man chooses a lesser woman for lower chakra reasons–i.e. casual sex for example, he does not want to do the work required to shift his consciousness into being a great man. You can always see the character of the man by the woman he chooses. We live in a throw-away society. Most don’t want to work hard to grow when the grass is greener…” ~John Dean
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ALL LOVE, ONE DAY, MEET
"Her heart - like every heart, if only its fallen sides were cleared away - was an inexhaustible fountain of love: she loved everything she saw.
It is by loving, and not by being loved, that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness.
I knew that love gives to him that loveth, power over any soul be loved, even if that soul know him not, bringing him inwardly close to that spirit; a power that cannot be but for good; for in proportion as selfishness intrudes, the love ceases, and the power which springs therefrom dies.
Yet all love will, one day, meet with its return."
~George MacDonald
Source: DagMar Dederichs
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GETTING TO KNOW A WOMAN IN 2019
By Claro Ganac
Real men know if a seeming woman is/was a transgender man. The variety of signs should be giveaways:
1. Big hands -- if "her" hands are bigger, bonier than yours, get the hell out
2. Broad shoulders -- not necessarily parang pang UFC or MM fighter. Women's shoulders are generally smaller than their hips
3. No hips -- Nature endowed women the reproductive system, which translate to broader pubic bone structure. No sexy dress can compensate for this.
4. Adam's apple
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8 THINGS MEN DO ONLY WITH THE WOMEN THEY LOVE
Love transcends genders, but there are subtle differences between how men and women display their affection to each other. Public display of affection might come easier to some than others, but usually when a man does this he is serious about the person he is with.
It takes a lot of vulnerability for a man to show what he truly feels, without hiding his emotions due to any societal conventions.
Coming to what all a man does for real love, here are the 8 discernible actions which show when he is absolutely in love with his significant other:
1. He will listen to you
Men do behave like children around the people they love. When they are passionate about something or someone they love, they give it their full concentration. If they love you, everything you say will matter to them.
However, listening doesn’t necessarily mean understanding. A man who truly loves you will actually listen and understand your words and thoughts. You will see it affecting their daily activities and gestures.
2. He will fight with you
Fights don’t generally mean that there is a rift in the relationship. Every bond requires fights in order to find their true standing and love. If a man truly loves you, he will fight with you and for you. He has invested his time and heart with you, and thus makes sure he discusses and solves every rift that threatens to create trouble.
These discussions are signs of a healthy relationship, and both of you should try to find middle grounds to heal it.
3. He will make sacrifices for your happiness
This could be one of the biggest signs that shows that a man truly puts you before everything else. This shows their love and respect for your emotions.
If he agrees to modify his plans in order to do something you prefer rather than something he prefers, he is a keeper. By doing so, he is showing his willingness to put
you and your needs before his.
4. He will fight for your love
A man who is in love with you will fight to retain that love. He feels lucky to have your love and show the same. For him, losing you would be the worst pain. That is why he does everything in his power to prevent that. He will stand beside you during your best and your worst of times.
5. He will be genuinely proud of your achievements
When in love, your man will view your achievements as his own achievements. The pride he feels about you will be somewhat similar to what a mother feels towards her child. There is no competition in love and thus he will never feel threatened by you.
6. He will find you beautiful even on your worst days
No matter if you have a bad hair day or breakouts, your man won’t care for looks if he indeed loves you. He will love you for the person that you are and not your looks. Superficiality will never be the base of his love. To him, you will look beautiful no matter what.
7. He will care about your family and friends as much as you do
He will understand how important your family and friends are to you and will give them equal respect. He will devote his time towards listening you talk about them and will accompany you on visits if asked. He will recognize and respect their position in your life and will contribute in whatever manner possible.
8. He won’t be afraid to show his vulnerability in front of you
Men usually don’t like to show their vulnerability, but he will be different around you. He won’t be afraid to show you his vulnerable side and share his fears. If not all, the man who loves you will show most of these characteristics. You are precious to him and he won’t shy away from showing that.
Die everyday... to our thoughts to our agony to our emotions to our loving relationships--even to our joy. ~Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, author of MIND BEYOND DEATH
Source: Daily Positive Information/RELATIONSHIP
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5 THINGS MEN DO WHEN THEY ARE TRULY IN LOVE WITH YOU
He may not write it in the sky, but he still loves you with all his heart.
There are a great number of ways to propose your partner. Some men choose flamboyant methods to go about asking a simple question, while others like it to be simple and sweet. The men who arrange epic proposals set the bar too high. They give an impression that this is how a man’s love should look like, or this is how a man is supposed to behave when he is in love.
However, the most important thing comes before marriage. True love is seen and felt during good and bad times. After all that you’ve been through, if he truly is in love, these are the indicating signs that will keep surfacing from him forever after:
1. Showing respect
Respect is the foundation of any human relationship. If a man does not respect his woman then he doesn’t really love her. If he only sees her as an object of desire then that isn’t true love. When you genuinely love her, you will respect her as an individual. You will value her opinions, ideas, feelings and treat her as an equal. This will not only make her feel good about herself but it will also generate confidence in you as her partner.
2. Honesty
If a man really loves his woman, he’ll be honest and upfront. He won’t go around and play silly games of pretending to be the “nice guy”. He will be genuine in his behavior. He will stand by his values even if his woman tugs him in the opposite direction. He will not try to mislead his partner in order to gain something from her. If you think you’re not honest in your relationship, it’s time to rethink your decisions.
3. Remembering important things
Women generally complain that men forget birthdays and anniversaries. But when a man is truly in love with his woman, he will surely remember the little things about her like the kind of coffee she likes or her favorite song. Little things like these can make any relationship stronger and intimate. If you do remember things about your partner then it shows that you listen and care for them.
4. To become a better person
Love can really change people from the inside. It can inspire you to become a better person. When a man tries to change his ways for a woman, it means that he truly loves her and wants to make her proud of himself. He does not want to impress her with artificial behavior or achievements… rather he would like to better himself as a human being. This is the magic of love; it encourages change even in a beast.
5. Fight for your love
According to a research a man is likely to have 6 relationships before he finally decides to settle down. He probably didn’t try hard to fight for these relationships. But when a man is truly in love, he will fight hard for his woman. He will do everything in his might to make the relationship work.
Usually it’s said that a woman does everything to save a relationship. However, a man in love will not let his lady walk away because there are chances that he may not find a love like that again.
Source: Daily Positive Information/RELATIONSHIP
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GOODBYE TO YOU MY TRUSTED FRIEND
A very sad and sentimental tribute to a beloved, once had been really uncared for, until its service is no longer viable. WORDS are poetically and romantically captivating as written by Maestro MIKE FW WALDORF
Try to remember the times we spent together as we hop from one state to the other. Remember the times, I thought, I felt I was all alone but you were there with me; the very sole witness of the sweetness of my frustrations and the bitterness of my long but successful journey. Try to remember when I simply wept and couldn't hold my tears any longer. Yes, my friend, YOU WERE THERE and thank you for just simply being there. In a way, you helped me battle a lingering depression.
Oh how I love to crack my voice just to sing along, a melody or two, with the radio. You were there, my only fan who can't even get the jokes I'd been relating to you.
For years of tagging you along in my travelogue, I must say that in every bit of my frustrations, you never heard me but you listened; you never talked to me but you spoke once in a while, when you felt like you needed to be fully drunk once again. How could I blame you for your intoxication? You kept on sniffing a 15.9 gallons of that high-octane gasoline and your full energy capacity is only good for hitting a 380-mile highway.
That's only good for a half-day travel eh!
Together we've traversed major roads and highways from the Southwestern to the Mid-Atlantic region of this fuckin' land of the free..
How can I forget this Land of Enchantment, my first foreign home away from home? After settling there for 3 years, it was then at that time that I've met you, that was in 2011.
New Mexico was our home that made me taste the bitterness of loneliness and the sweetness of the desert's oasis quenching my thirst from the love and care of a beloved? Oh wow, you treated me in Texas as a Lonestar cowboy. You brought me there to be greeted by Amarillo's breakfast taco in the morning and a piece of Whataburger along Route 66 heading to Oklahoma city. From there, we took the high roads to Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and ended up confused where to head for in the different bay areas of Maryland. As we settle in our second home, which is famous for its great seafood and discovered that it is, indeed, a melting pot of good schools and smart people.
By 2013, I thought your 6-year old body could no longer hit all the major highways of the DMV area in the Mid-Atlantic region but you amazed me with your new vigor after checking you in at Powertrain Auto Service to give you a fix, first and last time which I will always remember. Then came November of 2018, your eleventh year, I found out you couldn't take all the beatings of the road anymore.
Alas, some good things never really last and much to my being too sentimental with what's gonna be where our fate will bring us somewhere, I’ve got to bid adieu and shall never see you again, ever.
So here I say unto you, goodbye to you my trusted friend. I’ve skinned your hearts and I've skinned your heels. Not only once or twice but over and over again. I've been hurting you multiple times and I dearly paid the price for those times I never really truly cared. You've been badly bruised and by springtime, when pollens are in the air and everywhere, you gave up for me as I gave up my love for you.
It is such a bitter-sweet sorrow for me to say "THINK OF ME AND I'LL BE THERE" coz I will never be there for you, no matter how much you'll think of me or I'll think of you.
MAZDA 5, may you rest in peace!
From your ungrateful but sentimental friend - Driver Mike
Any life, however long and complicated it may be, actually consists of a single moment — the moment when a man knows forever more who he is. ~Jorge Louis Borges
Source: FB, August 3, 2019
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11 SIGNS YOU'RE WIFE MATERIAL
(According To Men)
Two things do prolong thy life.
A quiet heart and a loving wife.
~Anon
1. You love in equal measure.
“It just boils down to love and attraction. I don’t mean any kind of romantic ideal, but like, proper love, where you love them so much that even when you’re mid-argument and super angry you still make sure they take an umbrella to work because it might rain. Any person who loves you that much in equal measure, and doesn’t mind risking a sex-related hip fracture when you’re both in your 70s is definitely marriage material.”
2. You have insatiable intellectual curiosity.
“Basically, I need someone who will both challenge and complete me. I don’t want a fan or sycophant, nor do I want an adversary. The ideal woman will have an understanding of my strengths and weaknesses and exploit them not to injure me, but to make me better. She would also have an insatiable intellectual curiosity and big boobs. But in all seriousness, I don’t know that we need to have the perfect woman to qualify as marriage material. I know I don’t. All I need is that person who makes the concept of being with anyone else an exercise in idiocy.”
3. You accept without reservation.
“Total acceptance for who you are both the good and bad.”
4. You laugh.
“A sense of humor. That’s the most important thing a woman can have if I were to want to marry her. Of course I’d want her to be kind, genuine, adventurous and someone with whom I’d like to share my life but above all is sense of humor. Laughing and loving together is what makes a long-lasting relationship.”
5. You can cook.
“I know this is going to come off sexist, but it isn’t. I swear. That being said, wife material for me is a woman who can cook and cook well, like French pastry type well. Not because I want her in the kitchen but because I can’t cook to save my life but eating is a passion of mine. If her passion is to cook and mine is to eat then we can’t lose. I’d like to say once again that this isn’t me giving into gender stereotypes. Cooking and eating together is sexy. I guess I’m a regular old George Costanza.”
6. You challenge him.
“She has to challenge me to be my best self. That’s my main qualification. Also, I can’t marry someone who isn’t funny.”
7. You’re affectionate.
“Looking at my parents’ marriage there wasn’t as much emotional support as I think my mother needed from my dad. They fought too often and I never saw them, not once, show any sort of affection toward each other. Because of that, a woman who is affectionate and loving is someone with whom I want to grow old with. I don’t ever want my kids to wonder why mom and dad never hugged, kissed, or cuddled, like I always wondered. I want them to know we love each other and they were born from that love.”
8. You have your own life.
“In my mind, a woman with her own life is probably the coolest one to marry. And by ‘her own life’ I mean: her own career, her own set of friends, her own independent streak, her own dreams, and her own bunch of at least 15-20 vinyl records. This would certainly be a fair thing for a woman to want in a potential husband too, by the way.”
9. You don’t publicly embarrass.
“She doesn’t punk you in public in general but particularly in front of your friends. Bust chops? Okay. Disagree? Sure. Argue? Maybe. But if she’s wife material she’ll keep anything demeaning or embarrassing private.”
10. You love your past mistakes.
“I know this is cliché, but wife material for me is someone who loves the worst in me and is OK with all my screw-ups. I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way and have my fair share of regrets, so if she can love that stuff and not hold it against me, then I’d call that wife material.”
11. You are considerate.
“‘Wife material’ indicators can range from doing the wallet dance (thanks, but we’ll pay) or something sweet like making our bed after a sleepover. It’s so simple, but speaks to a level of consideration you don’t always get in some people who might feel a little too entitled to your chivalry.”
Source: My Marriage is Beautiful
Posted January 10, 2016
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A man with dreams needs a woman with vision. Her perspective, faith and support will change his reality. If she doesn't challenge you, then she's no good for you. Men who want to stay ordinary will tell you not to have expectations of them. Men who want to be great will expect you to push them, pray with them and invest in them. ~AnonWhen a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him... ~Caloy Bueno
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10 THINGS EVERY HUSBAND SECRETLY HATES ABOUT HIS WIFE
Sometimes, the things the husband hates about his wife, explains his love more than any grand gesture could! This list might surprise you!
1. He hates watching you in pain
Being married means your feelings aren’t just yours anymore. Every time you are hurt, it hurts him and he hates it because he feels helpless. When you are in pain, don’t shut him out, but instead communicate and express yourself. If he could, he would take it all away, so at least give him that chance.
2. He hates it when you try hiding your pain
Red-rimmed eyes, blocked noses and muffled voices do more damage to your relationship than letting your husband see you cry. He understands that you have your own troubles, and he possibly cannot help you, but late at night when you are sobbing in the bathroom, he is laying wide awake crippled by his inability to comfort you.
3. He hates not having you around
When two people decide to spend their lives together, they get accustomed to each other to the point that absence from you feels like he is missing an arm or a leg. He might sound distant and gruff when either of you have to go out of town, but it is mostly because he doesn’t like staying away from you.
4. He hates when you doubt your abilities
You married your husband knowing he wasn’t perfect but because you saw the best in him. He married you not just for who you are, but for who you could be as well. When your insecurities pull you down, communicate with him. His confidence in you might ultimately make the difference.
5. He hates it when people disrespect you
Humans are naturally protective of their loved ones. So the next time you see him over-react over a rude salesman you brush off or hold a grudge against someone, know that he is not being difficult but it comes from an instinctive hatred towards anything that might harm you.
6. He hates it when you compromise on who you are for his sake
Society is full of lists and self-help books on being the perfect partner, but he didn’t marry an ideal model for a wife, he married you. So don’t change yourself into what you think he might like because he already loves you for who you are.
7. He hates it when you give up
Failure is an inevitable part of life, but he has seen the time and effort that has gone behind your work. Let him console you when you fail, but don’t give up. Pick yourself up and try again.
8. He hates when you pull yourself down
People’s bodies change with time, and they don’t always change for the better. While your husband is always going to be supportive of you wanting to look and feel your best, his feelings for you don’t depend on your figure. He hates it when you body-shame yourself or when you compare yourself to other women. He married you for who you are, and your relationship runs deeper than stretch marks and tan lines.
9. He hates being the reason for your sadness
We most often end up hurting those we love. Very often, ‘why did he hurt me’ isn’t an easy question to answer. But hurting the people you love is something you always regret. Sometimes he hurts you unintentionally, sometimes he hurts you in the heat of the moment, but when he is sorry, he truly is. His heart is connected to yours, and hurting you hurts him too.
10. He hates when you aren’t happy
The whole point of the list really is to tell you that your significant other hates it when you’re unhappy. You have promised to spend the rest of your life with someone, so don’t shut him out. Believe in him, even if he messes up sometimes. Underneath all his inabilities to communicate, he loves you and wants you to be happy.
Source: DAILY POSITIVE INFORMATION on RELATIONSHIP
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DRUM IT UP
A STORY
"A wealthy married man who was married to a doctor just lost his job.. He felt bad, had no money to take good care of his family... But he had a good wife.
Every month his Wife would give her husband her full salary just after taking her tithe.The husband would give his wife a few naira for personal stuff and the guy determined what happened to the remaining money. This happened for 3 good years.
There was happiness in their relationship and the wife never refused to do her primary home duties for that 3 years, despite wrong advice from friends that "you can't be paying the bills and still be doing all the work".
There was a particular month, her husband used every cent of his wife's salary to travel from state to state for different interviews. He finally got a job at a good firm in Benin city..
His salary was two times his wife's. He bought his first car (a brand new) costed him a fortune, but he instead gave his wife the car key and continued to use public transport to work for about 2 years. Then he bought a second car which again costed him a fortune, and this time he took the keys of the first car and gave his wife the keys of the second car. They eventually moved into their own big and luxury house after few years.
One day his wife was looking for documents. She came across a file that was neatly hidden, when she opened it she saw her wedding picture when she was very slim in the first page of the file. She then saw a document of every detail about the house "it cost billions" it and everything in the house was written in her name!
On the last page was the husband's wedding picture and a note written by him: ''MY WIFE IS ALL I HAVE NOT EVEN THIS HOUSE WORTH BILLIONS can be compared to her worth in my life". Tears started to roll down her eyes.
True LOVE still exists till this day. Can your love for your partner be compared to this one you just read?
Love is a beautiful thing!" ~Emotional Filmtricks
♥*✿*•♥💐💐💐♥*✿*•♥
WHY MEN LOVE GOLF
Many reasons, why we men love golf....
There are days where you dont like playing...
Some days you cant tell which way the ball is going...
You may feel this or that.... or come up with many excuses..... or the weather conditions may not be in your favor....
You may feel you have a headache......or just not up to it....
But you still have to go and finish that round....
Maybe you're playing with friends... which could be fun and crazy...
Or you could be playing at a tournament where you have to try and show your best.....
Or you could just be alone and be contemplative... and just watch the ball roll...
or just plain blah...
It's nice to see old familiar faces.... like the trees of old here... and see how they have grown....
Nevertheless golf is a game of life... either you beat it or it beats you.....
FORE......
By Teddyboy Tagle
Lifted from FB
November 27, 2018
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A LETTER FROM EMOTIONAL FILMTRICKS
DEAR MEN
Don't misunderstand a woman when she loves you with all her heart and soul. If she fights with you and then cries and says sorry, it doesn't mean she is weak; it's because she values the relationship she shares with you and thinks you are worthy of being together.
Don't get irritated when she's possessive because maybe she wants to explain that you are her world and she cannot share you with anyone else.
Don't ignore her if she is nagging for silly things because maybe she needs your attention. If you love a woman don't ignore her, show her that you care for her.
When a woman gets attention from her man and feels appreciated for her little things, she can love him back in a million ways and much more than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams.
Love is a beautiful thing!....
Source: FB
14 February 2015
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WHY SOME MEN CAN'T HANDLE A DEEP WOMAN
1. A deep woman speaks her mind. She does not settle for shallow conversations.
2. A deep woman is honest. She will tell you the truth. She is vocal about how she feels about you.
3. A deep woman is independent. She can finance herself.
4. A deep woman will not beg for love. She knows her worth.
5. A deep woman will not hesitate to cut you off if you treat her like shit.
6. A deep woman does not chase people. She has no time to do that because she is so busy achieving her goals.
7. A deep woman does not waste her time for temporary attachment. She knows better.
8. A deep woman does not need someone to make her feel that she is important.
9. A deep woman does not settle for less than she truly deserves.
10. A deep woman is unpredictable. Only a man with a strong will has the balls to pursue her.
Source: Neil Jed Castro
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WHY A MAN NEEDS TO STAND BY AND SUPPORT HIS WIFE
Because, your parents, you did not choose.
Because, your siblings, you did not choose.
Because, your relatives, you did not choose.
But you chose your wife.
So stand by her. Support her. Love her.
~Bryan Ng Co
Source: FB
I DO NOT HELP MY WIFE
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you.
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! ”
~Anon~
Source: Lessons Learned in Life
October 7, 2017
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Unaccounted Humour
"My father must have had some elementary education, for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately." ~George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Humour of the Day
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." ~Groucho Marx
"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." ~Groucho Marx
Quote from a Chef
"I have no regrets because my mistakes have given me the knowledge that has made me the man I am today. Regrets are anchors that drag you back." ~Marco Pierre White
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WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE
1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.
3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.
5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in- charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.
8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm- lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.
9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.
10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.
11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.
12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.
13. My son, your mother rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car,outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.
14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?
15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.
16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.
17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.
18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.
19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.
20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.
21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.
22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, so that your children will take care of you too.
Source: FB
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DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
by Dylan Thomas (1914 - 1953)
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
A celebration of fathers and fatherhood, this one-of-a-kind anthology features the richly varied voices of daughters and sons, and of fathers and grandfathers themselves. From eleventh-century Chinese poet Su Tung-p'o's witty "On the Birth of His Son" to Dylan Thomas's poignant "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night," from Sylvia Plath's searing poem "Daddy" to Yeats's tender "A Prayer for My Daughter," from Homer to Seamus Heaney, from Shakespeare to Milosz, the poets and poems collected here range across cultures and centuries and speak to birth, death, and all the facets of the father-child relationship. Gratitude, tenderness, and awe infuse some of the poems. Others express anger or sorrow. Many are moving tributes to the first man in a child's life. And each one conveys the profound nature of fatherhood.
Source: Everyman's Library
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"O God, help me to be true to the great privilege and the great responsibility which you have given me; help me to be an example and a friend to my children and a real partner to my wife; don't let me take all that is done for me for granted, and help me to keep love alive within the home."Give me health and strength and work to do to earn a living for those who depend on me and whom I love so much; but help me to remember that love is always more important than money."
Source: THBFG 2000 (MPW)
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TRIBUTE TO A FATHER by a Father
"My Dad was a hard and dedicated worker. He always had ongoing projects around the house and made sure his sons in particular were contributors to those projects. He knew how to work hard, but also cherished play and instruction time with his children. He had little schooling, only achieving second grade, but he had an educated heart."
Yes indeed, fathers play a special role in family growth, instruction and development—physically and also spiritually. The Bible gives important instruction to both the father and his children. “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding” (Proverbs 4:1).
Fathers have a responsibility to impart understanding to their children—not only in physical matters but spiritual as well. This includes directing their children in developing a relationship with their heavenly Father. In addition fathers are instructed: “Fathers do not provoke your children to wrath; but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).Fathers must show patience and understanding in each child’s development, and always point their sons and daughters to God’s word as the prime source of instruction.
I look forward to seeing my Dad in the not-too-distant future. At that time, I will give him a special heartfelt “thank you” for his dedication to the family. So, fathers, set the pace and set the example—neither you nor your children will forget it." ~Winston Gosse
Source: LCG Commentary
Shared via FB December 2013
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VERSES:
(A dedication to my Son-in-Law, Steve. Thank you for being the son I never have).
A little face that's held aloft
For Daddy's farewell kiss,
An early morning ritual
That no-one likes to miss.
A little hand that waves and waves,
As Daddy goes his way,
A little heart that's full of woe,
That Daddy cannot stay.
A little face, when evening comes,
That's squashed against the pane--
A little heart that's so content,
For Daddy's home again!
༺♥༻ Miriam Eker ༺♥༻
Source: The Friendship Book of Francis Gay 1985
(From Carol Ann Hewer)
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What Makes A Dad
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it - Dad.
Source: FB with compliments from Judith E. Manabilang
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A Hundred Dollars For Your TIME
SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"
SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"
SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.
"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.
Some things are more important.
Source: FB, The Gentleman Warrior Page
Litany of Don'ts by Blanche Ebbutt
General Habits:
"Don't be conceited about your good looks. It is more than probable that no one but yourself is aware of them; anyway, you are not responsible for them, and vanity in a man is ridiculous."
"Don't increase the necessary work of the house by leaving all your things lying about in different places. If you are not tidy by nature, at least be thoughtful of others."
"Don't keep all your best jokes for your men friends. Let your wife share them."
"Don't look at things solely from a man's point of view. Put yourself in your wife's place and see how you would like some of the things she has to put up with."
Personal Relations
"Don't keep up the "poor little woman" pose too long. A woman may like to be a plaything for a little while, but the novelty soon wears off."
"Don't condescend; you are not the only person in the house with brains.'
"Don't be surprised, or annoyed, or disappointed, to find, after treating your wife for years as a feather-brain, that you have made her one, and that she fails to rise to the occasion when you need her help."
"Don't keep her in cotton-wool. She isn't wax-she's a woman."
"Don't forget that you are not immortal. What chance will she have if you die and leave her with no knowledge of the ways of the wicked world?"
"Don't forget your wife's birthday. Even if she doesn't want the whole world to know her age, she doesn't like you to forget."
"Don't omit to bring home an occasional bunch of flowers or a few chocolates. Your wife will value even a penny bunch of violets for your thought of her."
"Don't think that because you can't afford to buy an expensive present, it is best to take no notice at all. The smallest gift will be appreciated if prompted by love."
"Don't allow yourself to become selfish. It is so easy, because wives are mostly ready to give way. Watch yourself, and if you find that you always tend to appropriate the most comfortable chair, or the warmest corner, or the most interesting book, just check the habit."
"Don't belittle your wife before visitors. You may think it a joke to speak of her little foibles, but she will not easily forgive you."
"Don't be careless about keeping promises made to your wife. If you have promised to be at home at seven, think twice before you go off with a friend at 6.30.
"Don't ever tell your wife a lie about anything. There should be entire confidence between you. If she once finds you out in a lie, she will not believe you when you do speak the truth."
"Don't think that if you married merely to get an unpaid housekeeper that position is going to satisfy your wife. She could have obtained a good salary as professional housekeeper to any other man if she had wanted to: she married of other reasons."
"Don't think that because you and your wife married for love there will never be a cloud in your sky. Neither of you is perfect, and you will have to learn to avoid treading on each other's corns."
"Don't dwell on any lack of physical perfection in your wife. Beauty of mind is much more important than beauty of body."
"Don't despise your wife's everyday qualities because she is not what the world would call brilliant. Sound common sense is of more value than fireworks when one is running a home."
"Don't be irritated now by the childish ways in your wife that amused you so much in your fiancee. She will grow out of them soon enough."
"Don't put too much of the "lord of creation" air. It will only make you look ridiculous."
"Don't think that, because she is a woman, your wife ought to be an angel of light. She is just as much a human being as you are, and no more perfect."
"Don't worship your wife as a saint, and then when you discover that she is, after all, of common clay, spend the rest of your life mourning her deterioration. Probably she is what she always was, and it is only that you are looking at her through different glasses."
"Don't take the attitude that wives, like children, should be seen and not heard. No doubt you are a very clever fellow, and it is an education for her to listen to you, but she also may have some views worth mentioning."
"You will often find, too, that her fresh mind will see a way out of some little difficulty that has not occurred to you."
"Don't expect your wife to hold the same views as yours on every conceivable question. Some men like an echo, it is true, but it becomes very wearisome in time."
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Children
"Don't say anything to your children that may tend in any way to lower their estimation of their mother."
"Don't let your wife devote herself so exclusively to the children that you are left out in the cold. She doesn't put you there on purpose, but you must show her that you are still her husband and lover, and expect to be treated as such."
"Don't think it as a nuisance when your boys or girls want your help in their studies. Give it to them pleasantly if you are able to do it at all; if not, say so."
"Don't always say, "Ask your mother", when you don't want to be bothered. It is conceivable that she doesn't either."
"Don't say, "That's not in my line," when your wife asks your advice about the children. It ought to be in your line."
"Don't say always that you are too tired to play with your children. They want to feel that they have a father as well as a mother."
"Don't forget to set an example to your children of being thoughtful for their mother. They will soon learn to save her in all sorts of little ways if they see that you always do it."
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